The Body Beautiful

"I just don't understand why anyone would want to get a tattoo."

So said the woman next to me in the bar.

"How about art? Self-expression?" I suggested. (Full disclosure: I have a couple tattoos).

"Pish. That's not art. Art isn't permanently disfiguring yourself," she said, seeming surprised that I wasn't in immediate agreement with her.

I examined her more closely. "Do you have your ears pierced?"

"Yes, but that's different."

"I couldn't help but notice you have really pretty teeth." She grinned. "Thanks."

"Any orthodontia? Or whitening maybe?"

"Yes, but that's the same thing - its just enhancing what's already there."

I glanced down. "Any other enhancements?" (Ok, perhaps I leered instead of glanced, I am a old perv...but I think the fact that she was wearing a tight top cut down to her navel and proudly displaying her obviously augmented DDs opens up the topic a bit, don't you?)

She lifted her chest, gave a sly look and said "Maaaybe...why, what are you suggesting?"

A few suggestions came to mind, but I stuck with the main topic. "I guess my point is that I think it's funny that I know so many people that don't like tattoos - most over the age of 40 - and yet these same friends have no trouble justifying a gazillion dollars of plastic surgery, which I think is just as permanent. Maybe more so."

She pointed her augmentations elsewhere, and with a slight frown said. "You think I look over 40?"

"No, of course not. Not even close." (This is one of those questions - like "Do these pants make my butt look big?" - that you never, ever, ever answer honestly.) "But do you see my point? Tattoos are just another kind of body enhancement, another kind of self expression."

"Whatever." She shrugged, clearly starting to get bored with the conversation. I started to notice some other telltale signs of plastic surgery - botox in the forehead, the shiny skin of photofacials, the slightly upturned eyes that come with a face lift.

"Yeah...I guess I agree with you," I said at last. "It's just crazy what some people will do to their bodies."

"I know, right?" she brightened up. "So...what do you like to do to your body..."

I love sitting at bars...