"Step Away From The Voting Booth.."

"Lay down your voter registration card slowly, and put your hands in the air!"

Looking ahead to the Nov. 7 elections, the chairman of the Republican National Committee, Ken Mehlman, said "the American people aren't going to say in the face of war we need to be weaker, and in the face of economic challenge we need higher taxes and more regulations and more lawsuits. The Democrats have promised both." (AP news)

I wasn't there for the briefing, but I think the rest must have gone something like this...

"I mean it!" an agitated Mehlman shouted. "If you even think of voting for a Democrat, then we're just going to go on weakening the economy and expanding the Iraqi conflict till you're so scared you can't even see straight. If I so much as hear the word Liberal, we're gonna blow this fucking insurgency into a full scale global war! Bwa ha ha ha..."

Mr. Mehlman was then hurried out of the briefing room by concerned aids. One unidentified man was heard whispering to the RNC chairman "Oh Great! Why don't you just tell them everything? For this scam to work, we need to make them scared of the rest of the world, not us you fool..."